February 14, 2020
Now We Know Why Nadine Lustre Didn't Answer Xian Gaza's "Mustang Bouquet"
Dear Xian, you know why Nadine Lustre didn’t answer your “Mustang bouquet”? It’s because you were trying to give her the WRONG Mustang. But hey, we understand your confusion; we’re so confused as well.
Anyway, in a Ford-commissioned survey of 3,000 respondents from Europe, US, and China, 8 out 10 are down for an “electric-powered date night” (whatever that means), with 3 in 4 saying they’d actually prefer to date an EV owner. In short, you should have gotten her a “Mustang Mach-E bouquet.”
This goes out to all you bros out there, too. If you’re not scoring tonight, it’s because you are not in an EV. Yeah, apparently, chicks don’t like fancy sports car and whatever; they dig the strong and silent type, the one who secretly cares for the environment, and stuff.
Anyway, Ford goes on.
They say that their first-ever EV, the Mustang Mach-E can also help you “celebrate with a new squeeze, revisite an old flame, or do the anti-holiday night out with the gals (or guys).” So imagine Xian, Nadine, and Erich all in the same car. Hmmmm...catty. But hey, at least you can serve them near-bottomless chicken wings.
And, if you’re un-gentlemanly enough to have nothing planned on V-Day, don’t worry. The Mustang Mach-E also comes with Ford’s first-ever cloud-connected communications system, SYNC 4A. With that, you can simply leave it to Yelp to choose where you should be eating.
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